A Cultural, Spiritual, & Emotional Loss
Over the last few decades, the majority of our society has moved away from fresh, whole foods and into packaged, prepared, preserved products. We’ve lost something very fundamental as a result. Opening cans and dumping, slicing a vent hole into a plastic sealed microwavable tray, “just add water” – those things have taken away from something that, I believe, is an inherent desire within us to make the process of growing, preparing, cooking, and serving a joyful experience. We’ve taken something that should be a very basic delight and turned it into a tedious chore that has us seeking any time-saving product that will get it done faster and with less hassle.
But at what cost?
There are many books, articles, documentaries, etc., explaining the dangers to your health when you eat processed food vs. real whole food. Many of the articles or references to other material can be found on this site.
This is not an article about that. This article is about what we have lost culturally, spiritually, and emotionally.
Culturally
One very obvious cultural loss in the prepared and packaged business is that, quite simply, an entire generation is growing up not knowing how to cook. Kaylee, who is a couple weeks shy of 16, has to cook one meal a week for our family. Doing that is teaching her how to plan, how to prepare, and how to cook a meal so that it all comes together at the same time. She has been in the kitchen with me since she could stand on a chair. Conversely, very few of her friends know how to cook. Most of them don’t have families that eat together. Usually, a freezer or a pantry is stocked with packaged food and the members of the family grab and nuke what they want whenever they want it.
Alongside not cooking, we, as a culture, aren’t really entertaining, either. Abraham hurried to prepare a meal for his angelic visitors (Genesis 18:6-7), a practice that is becoming less and less common in our culture. Now, with so many families where both the mother and the father work outside of the home, opening our home in hospitality is becoming a rare occurrence. Most people, when they want to fellowship with friends, now choose instead to meet outside of the home in a restaurant. The thought process is that preparing a home for company and preparing a meal is considered a “hassle”, or a “bother”, and it’s just “easier” to go out. The latest rage in coffee pots even has a single serving of coffee being made in a variety of flavors and strengths instead of a pot of coffee that can easily be shared among friends. For the most part, hospitality just is simply, culturally, becoming a thing of the past.
Last week, Gregg was doing a week’s worth of National Guard duty a couple hundred miles from home. He had to escort four soldiers to an appointment near our home, and called me at 6 in the morning to ask if he could bring them over for lunch. Once I dropped children off at school, I rushed home and prepared a meal: beef stew, cheddar whole wheat herb biscuits, garden salad with two offerings of homemade dressings, stuffed red velvet cookies, stuffed dates, and iced tea. These soldiers, as Gregg explained lunch plans, protested coming over to eat. None of them were accustomed to eating in another home, and until they were here and made welcome, were uncomfortable with it. After, they were SO thankful for it that they continued to remind Gregg to thank me again through the rest of the week.
When I was growing up, my dad brought people home for lunch all the time (my mom will tell you that he came home with three soldiers for lunch and she went into labor with me. She showed them where the diapers were for my older brother, and left them there — with lunch and my brother — while my dad took her to the clinic to have me.) Somewhere along the route of working mothers and convenience foods, we’ve culturally lost the art of hospitality.
Spiritually
From front to back, food is in the Bible, a constant analogy for what is good. The Israelites, while wandering the wilderness for forty years, were willing to return to Egypt and go back to being slaves just so they could have the fresh food that is found in such abundance there. On Mt. Sinai, Moses and the elders dined together to seal the covenant with God (Exodus 24:11). Jacob and Laban shared a meal to seal a pact (Genesis 31:54). The Last Supper, a Passover feast, was rich in covenant significance that is still fundamental to Christian practice.
“So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. “For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. “If a son asks for bread from any father among you, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent instead of a fish? “Or if he asks for an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? “If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!” Luke 11:10-13
Aside from the importance of food in the Bible, I feel like God purposefully made food – whole food, fresh food – something intended to be enjoyed, a good gift. I think it is designed to appeal to us on a spiritual and emotional level. Which brings me to the emotional part.
Emotionally
I made a pot of homemade soup the other day. As I was peeling potatoes, chopping onions, slicing carrots, something occurred to me. It’s something I’ve wanted to share with you, but have had a hard time coming up with the words to say because it’s all about feeling, and feelings are the hardest things to convey in this medium. So, here’s my best go at it:
There is something very basically emotionally satisfying about working with whole foods. Breaking down an onion, peeling a potato, slicing carrots, chopping fresh herbs — these things satisfy my every sense — touch, taste, smell, sound, sight — to create a whole moment of perfect contentment. And, as I contemplated on it, I realized that moment is just magnified at harvest time, when the produce with which I’m working has been grown in my backyard by my family.
I believe God intentionally made fresh food like that so appealing so that we would want to prepare them, combine them, consume them, and enjoy them. I think that when we step away from all of this freshness and open boxes, open envelopes, just add water, go through a drive through — I think we’re actually denying ourselves a God-given pleasure that is actually there to satisfy our souls.
If you are seeking convenience over fresh, I would like to challenge you to shift how you prepare meals. The next time you want soup, don’t open a can of prepared soup — take an extra ten minutes and wash, slice, dice — let the sounds of the fresh vegetables being chopped, the sight of the array of colors, the fresh smell, the crisp flavors, the feel of the raw vegetables in your hand — that those sensations appeal to your senses and you will discover a very basic, fundamental satisfaction that is found in working with whole, God provided foods.
I am very interested in hearing your impressions of this post or, if you could, leave a comment sharing your experiences.
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I love this post, and I totally relate to everything you’re saying. It makes me feel really good when I make soup for my family completely from scratch, stock and everything because I know exactly what they’re eating in their bowls. And I agree that hospitality is quickly becoming a thing of the past. I remember growing up we were regularly invited over to people’s houses for coffee after church, but now, I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone from our church invite us over after the service. In my family growing up, we always ate dinner together, and that’s a tradition I hope to continue with my kids, and I hope to get better at having them help me in the kitchen so that they will leave my home knowing how to cook good meals for their families someday.
We don’t get invited to homes after church – we get invited out to lunch to a restaurant. It’s very interesting. Even just 10 years ago it was different (different state, too, so that may have something to do with it.)
What a great post! You are so right about whole foods, sharing and experiencing it together. The times when I throw chicken nuggets for the kids in the oven because I’m sick/tired it is not satisfying. In any way. And what a great idea having your daughter cook–remind me in 10 yrs ok? :)
I agree, as well! I love the sound, feel and aroma of fresh veg. Makes it taste better, imho. And I use prep time for prayers of thanks for this abundance.
On the hospitality subject, I think our culture has become accustomed to individualized accommodation, particularly in the last 15 years (thank you, advertisers!). I’ve found this idea crosses regional lines. So, for example, when a potential hostess sees that her potential guests have such a variety of tastes, it’s no wonder she opts for someone else (a restaurant) to take care of all that. Even my DH has insisted on restaurants when guests visit, b/c of their “picky” eating habits (“everyone can get what they want”). I’ve tried with them, but no matter what we prepare, they want something else; it really can be a waste of time and food. It is in the guise of their caring about the effort we choose to put toward a meal. Point being, our society has changed, and “we want what we want” has taken over “I am grateful for whatever you offer.” Such a shame, really, that this entitlement attitude is so prevalent and has really affected family life and social life.
Anyway! Thanks for posting this, and sharing your feelings. You sure aren’t alone.
That is a BRILLIANT insight. Thank you so much for sharing it.
I love this post. Just last nite, i made homemade chicken gravy for the first time. My mom always used jarred gravy even though she was a stay at home mom. I was so tempted to just buy the jar, but when i read the ingredients, i didnt want my 8 month old eating the junk that is in one jar of gravy. I felt quite accomplished. :-) Most of the things I cook are from scratch, but gravy has always been intimidating. Now that I know I can do it, I must check out that 50 Shades of Gravy!
I so much agree with this–and I find that the more I try to make making meals an activity to enjoy and something that nourishes the heart as well as the body, the easier it becomes. Not to say that there aren’t times when the frozen fish fillets get pulled out of the freezer…but that I *try* to have at least something home/handmade to every meal.
At the very least, I aim for the kiddos to know that it’s all prepared with love. :)
You are absolutely right Lisa!!! Gone are the days when you ate what was placed in front of you and thanked the person for their efforts. Parents today tell their children that they don’t have to eat things they don’t like. We can see what “good” advice that has been.
As usual Hallee, you have hit it on the nose. Hospitality has become a thing of the past. And what a shame. I love to entertain but get looked at like I have 2 heads when I invite people over for a meal. So, I just stopped inviting.
I do think that hygiene has come into play as well with this. Having been to some homes where ppl pet their animals, touch food, let animals on the kitchen counters, etc. I don’t really want to eat what has been prepared, but that is a topic for another day. BTW, we have no animals at our house.
YES! I find it SO satisfying to cook for my family. When I don’t have the ability, I really REALLY miss it. You’ve hit the nail on the head.
The more I read about convenience foods, the more they scare me. I mean REALLY scare me.
Nowadays it seems that everyone is on some sort of diet or food restriction. Examples: gluten-free, dairy-free, vegetarian, vegan, low carb, organic-only, no shellfish, no pork, watching cholesterol, no salt, diabetic, doing Weight Watchers, etc. All these food accomodations make it hard to prepare a meal for a family without making everyone a separate meal! That’s why I don’t have people over, to be very honest. Even the classic group-type meals of lasagna, tacos, casseroles, BBQ, etc will no suit a group of people any longer.
I also feel that because of this shift in society, this is why families do not eat together around the table at the same time. EX: Mom may be watching her carbs and does eat shellfish, while Dad is gluten-free, Kid-A is Type 1 diabetic, Kid B is allegic to tomatos, Kid C is lactose intolerant. All very common scenerios these days!
Quite frankly, it is even hard to chose a restaurant that caters to everyone’s restrictions when you get a group of people together – family, coworkers,… any groups!
Frozen fish fillets can be a saving grace sometimes. :)
I love this post. I am so grateful that I have friends who invite my family to thier homes for a home cooked meal.I belive that one of the best things that makes a family strong is preparing a meal together and then siting down and eating it together.
I agree also. I feel like I’m doing what I’m suppose to be doing when I cook. It gives me such a good feeling. When I do “open dinner” from boxes or cans I feel like I’ve cheated my family and me.
You had me with you until you blamed working mothers.
We eat fresh, healthy home-cooked meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner 6-7 days a week. It takes 10 minutes in the morning to chop onions and peppers and season meat for the slow cooker and another 10 minutes in the evening to cook fresh veggies to accompany the meat. On the weekends, we enjoy more time-consuming dishes. Amazingly enough, we also share our table with friends and family regularly (whether it is my sister and BIL stopping by for roast on a Wednesday night or friends joining us for a BBQ on a Sunday afternoon).
I actually think the convenience foods and lack of hospitality all depend on lifestyle and priorities.
I think there’s a continuum. We do use canned tomatoes and tomato paste, canned black and kidney beans (although it’s easy enough to cook them if I planned ahead), store-bought bread and dry cereal, and we do use spice mixes from a spice company, although we have all the individual spices too. We use some frozen vegetables (which I think is fine) and some fresh. I don’t know any people who just use pre-made packaged foods but maybe that’s my age group (which is older than yours). Most people I know do like to cook for themselves from scratch; also some are into local foods and some are foodies who make complicated recipes routinely. Most people I know are better cooks than I am. So I have never seen what you are describing, although I can believe it exists. Hospitality is my weakest point; I have totally failed at being comfortable enough with my cooking to have people over.
(I think we do pretty well but I still don’t feel content about how we eat. I’m not sure why. It could be that we don’t focus on local foods.)
Hallee, I have to thank you for inspiring me to cook more with my daughter! I read your article and went home last night and we made tacos together with ground beef. She is only 6 so I let her have a small frying pan to saute her own beef and she loved it! She ate her whole dinner with enthusiasm. I am planning to make a tomato fish stew and she will be there to help me as well. Thanks for all you do!