With a new year rolling out before us, many of us are focused on time, scheduling, calendars.  We determine that we will do things different this year, better, more efficiently.  We devote more time to our families, more time to reading the Bible, more time to prayer…and then life continues on as it always has.

Thinking of this, I am reminded of a class I taught recently on The Love Dare, which was tied into the Fireproof movie.  During the first class, we were to break down our time.  How much time do you spend, on average, on these things a day (what percentage of your time):

  1. spouse
  2. children
  3. God
  4. church
  5. work
  6. sleep
  7. recreation
  8. planning for the future
  9. household

There were another five or six options – I can’t recall them all exactly.

But one thing stood out in that class — and that is the realization from some of the women participating in the class that their husbands got very little percentage of their time, and one woman even (tearfully) realized that her husband on average got zero.

Our relationships with our husbands should be, in the levels of importance, second only to God.  He is to cleave to us, to become one with us.  He is our partner, best friend, mate, protector, provider, and lover.  It is understandable and rather obvious that children will require a great deal of our time and energy.  That just comes with parenting.  But our relationship with our spouse is of the utmost importance and should be treated with purposeful attention.

Screen shot of Gregg doodles on IM is the only thing on the front of my new fridge

If you are finding your time with your spouse is too low in the percentage game, one thing that you can do is to set aside a WEEKLY date night.  Just you and your husband.  No couples, no friends – just the two of you alone on a date.  It doesn’t have to be an expensive restaurant with a huge tab – it can be a walk around the neighborhood walking hand-in-hand.  It can be a movie with coffee in a diner afterward.  It can be anything at all that gets the two of you away from your home, responsibilities, demands, and children, and brings the two of you intimately together.

If you cannot afford a babysitter once a week, get with another another couple with children from church or work and arrange a weekly swap.  You watch their kids during their date night, and they watch your children on your date night.  I can barely wait until Gregg is back home and we can resume our weekly date nights.   Sometimes it’s a fancy dinner out at the Chop House steak house, sometimes it’s a a Mystery Dinner Theater, sometimes it’s a dinner movie theater, sometimes it’s a picnic for just the two of us.  We have such a great time planning each date each week.

As we begin this first week of this new year, take a moment to reevaluate your time, your schedule, and your priorities.  Make sure that God is number one.  Then make sure your husband is number two.  If those two are in the order in which they should be, your marriage can do nothing but just get better, more loving, more attentive, and happier.

What will you do to ensure that your life priorities and time are in proper place throughout the day, throughout the week, throughout the month, and all through the coming year?


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