Boys Will Be…

A disclaimer to my mother: It’s probably best that you don’t read this post. It involves arachnids.

DSCF5123Trying to get pregnant with Scott, I stumbled across a parenting website catering to pregnancy and childbirth that came with all sorts of message boards. I’ve always loved online interaction and the diverse voices found in a worldwide forum. While I’ve always been actively involved in political debates online, a lot of the parenting debates were new to me, including the nurture vs. nature debate.

The two arguments in that debate are that boys and girls are taught to be different versus boys and girls are simply different. It actually surprised me to learn that there was a debate about that. That there could be a debate about that.

Over the last several years, I’ve done a lot of research into male and female brains and have seen enough medical data on the different ways a male brain functions and responds versus the way a female brain functions and responds to believe that the differences in the sexes is nothing but natural, normal, and as far as I’m concerned, as created by God.

Now, I’m very much a girl. Ignore the fact that I determine the quality of a movie based on how many explosions and/or muscles I get to see. I love all things girlie. I love ribbons and lace and doilies and pretty flowers. My purse and shoe collection can rival any head of state’s, and I never go anywhere without wearing just the right shade of lipstick.

(Mom, seriously, at this point quit reading.)

As the boys and I left the house for Lie-brear-airy-day this morning, I noticed a spider web stretching from our apple tree to my car door. This was a big spiderweb. I have absolutely no desire to see the beast who spun it. I put my hand on Scott’s shoulder and said, “Wait. There’s a spiderweb.”

He got extremely excited. “A spiderweb?!” With that, he broke free of my hand and ran forward until he hit the web. Then (and this is not for the faint of heart) spun around until it completely encased him.

After swallowing the bile that rose in my throat, and after a panicked installation of Jeb into his car seat, I turned around to confront my 3-year-old son. I brushed the spiderweb from his hair, his shirt, down the back of his shirt, his shorts, his legs. Then I inspected him thoroughly. Then I started to put him in the car and had to stop and reinspect him. After trying to put him into the car for the second time, I pulled him out again and searched all through his clothes to make sure that there was no eight-legged monster sitting on his shoulder, waiting to jump on me while I was driving.

I believe, sincerely and deep in my heart, that I deserve a thousand extra kudos for not running and screaming like a girl.

Now, I’m in the middle of raising a girl. I can assure you that Kaylee, at the age of 3, would not have rolled with glee through a spiderweb. I can guarantee you that she would have run screaming away from it and been afraid to take the car. No, we would have had to take the truck. She had no interest in anything dirt, outside, bug, beast related at that age. By then, she was already changing clothes six times a day.

DSCF4418While my husband is out of the country, I try very hard not to let too much girl rub off on the boys. They don’t get the regular testosterone fix they need. They don’t get the regular rough-housing they require. But despite being just immersed in girl all the time, between Kaylee and me, they are still turning out to be boys. They get dirty, they roll and play and fight. Every object is a weapon – a sword or a gun. Every car makes noise and every towel becomes a cape. They jump on the couches and fly down the stairs and when they sit next to each other, they kick and hit and scratch and bite. And when they get bored with each other, they attack one of the dogs and wrestle them to the ground. And they roll around in spiderwebs.

And that’s awesome, because while right now these boys will be boys, eventually these boys will be men. And I love the fact that our Creator has made men and women, boys and girls, SO different, so faultlessly different that when we eventually come together as man and wife, we clash together to form a perfect union – a perfectly complete “one“.

And I’m really, really glad that Scott is obviously not afraid of spiders. Because, Kaylee and I need someone willing to kill them whenever Gregg is not home.


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