A Message to Teenaged Girls Out There
I was in the high school parking lot the other day, waiting to pick up Kaylee. Two weeks from tomorrow, she’ll test for her driver’s license, so I’m trying to enjoy the time we have in the mornings driving to and from school.
When the students were released, I noticed a group of girls walk by and was just — flabbergasted, I guess — by the way one of them was dressed.
She had on shorts that were SHORT, like Daisy would have shied away from them. And, they were LOOSE. Which means, nothing was contained. I know it’s easy to toss out the words “your butt will hang out of them,” but this was actual flab of cheek flapping in the breeze hanging out of them.
My initial first thought was, “Doesn’t she have a mother?”
Followed immediately by, “She’s been in school for 7 hours, and her butt cheek is still hanging out of her shorts?”
So, clearly, there’s a lack of adult guidance happening with this young woman, and many just like her. So, I’m going to step up and be the adult in your life. Here’s my public service message to you:
There is absolutely NOTHING good that will ever come as a direct result of you dressing so that your butt cheek hangs out of your shorts. Any result of that is going to NOT be good, will not make your life better, and will not enhance your life in any positive way.
That’s just a simple fact.
It isn’t cute. It isn’t attractive. It isn’t fun. It just screams, “No adult cares enough about me to stop me from dressing like this.”
And that makes me sad.
Have some respect for yourself. Love yourself.
This reminds me of a guest post a I wrote for A Proverbs Wife about 3 years ago. In it, I said:
1 Timothy 2:8-10 (KJV) says:
I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting.In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
This verse isn’t saying that skirts should be a certain length or that sleeves must cover to the wrist. Pastor C.J. Mahaney, in a sermon titled “The Soul of Modesty” said:
Any biblical discussion of modesty begins by addressing the heart, not the hemline.
By dressing immodestly, we’re drawing attention to our bodies – in short, to our sex. We’re placing ourselves as the center of attention, hoping to draw lustful looks, to seduce. By allowing our children to dress the same way, we’re teaching them that they’re supposed to be noticed in that way, that physical appearance and attributes are what is important. That is the lesson instead of teaching them, as God asks, that Christ is important, that serving others comes first, that we live a life that exemplifies God and not ourselves.
Pastor John MacArthur writes in his book, “The MacArthur New Testament Commentaries, 1 Timothy”:
How does a woman discern the sometimes fine line between proper dress and dressing to be the center of attention? The answer starts in the intent of the heart. A woman should examine her motives and goals for the way she dresses. Is her intent to show the grace and beauty of womanhood? Is it to reveal a humble heart devoted to worshiping God? Or is it to call attention to herself, and flaunt her…beauty? Or worse, to attempt to allure men sexually? A woman who focuses on worshiping God will consider carefully how she is dressed because her heart will dictate her wardrobe and appearance.
And that is the key. Allowing our children, our teens, even our own selves, to dress immodestly is to send the signal that it’s okay, that it’s normal, and that it’s proper to allure men sexually. The Bible clearly tells us that outside of the boundaries of holy matrimony -it is not okay. The Bible warns men over and over again about being a slave to sexual immorality, to sinning with the eyes and with the heart, to falling prey to the sexual allure of immoral women. It is a battle that men will fight from the time of puberty until death. A young man said in an interview with Carolyn Mahaney:
Each and every day is a battle – a battle against my sin, a battle against temptation, a battle against my depraved mind. Every morning I have to cry out for mercy, strength, and a renewed conviction to flee youthful lusts. The Spirit is faithful to bring me the renewal I need to prepare me to do war against my sin, yet the temptation still exists. Sometimes, when I see a girl provocatively dressed, I’ll say to myself, “She probably doesn’t even know that a hundred and one guys are going to devour her in their minds today. But then again, maybe she does.”
Girls, love yourselves. And with that love, respect yourselves. You don’t have to dress like that. You can show the grace and beauty of womanhood with no butt cheeks involved. I promise, you can. And the result from that will be much more positive than the alternative.
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