The Power of a Praying Wife: Chapter 22 – His Emotions
- By: Hallee
I waited patiently for the LORD; And He inclined to me, And heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, Out of the miry clay, And set my feet upon a rock, And established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth— Praise to our God; Many will see it and fear, And will trust in the LORD. Psalm 40:1-3
This chapter is quite timely for me because Gregg just finished reading a book that focused quite a bit on men’s emotions. He and I have had many conversations during the course of his reading this book about how, societally, men are conceived as having no emotions at all. They are tough, strong, resilient. But, the truth is, men are highly emotional creatures. The difference between most men and most women, however, is that typically men do not show their emotions.
I was talking to a retired homicide detective last week. He said that every dead child, every drug induced murder, every senseless death born of greed and anger and malice destroyed him inside. But, as a homicide detective, he couldn’t let those emotions out. Instead of going into some dead child’s bedroom and crying in a corner, he had to buck up and do his job. To compensate, he would go home and drink. His wife didn’t understand what he was struggling with, because he couldn’t open up the floodgate of emotions that would come as a result of acknowledging them, and in the end it nearly destroyed their marriage.
Jesus wept. David danced unrestrainedly. Job ripped his clothes and covered his head with ashes. We have 66 books in the Bible filled with men being free to show their emotions. Yet we have a society that would never tolerate it.
In order for your husband to feel vulnerable enough to let you see his real emotions, the ones that he has hidden behind a masculine bravado, he needs to trust you. If you’ve treated him like an emotionless He-Man, it may be that he simply isn’t willing to open that box inside of him yet and hand you the power over the vulnerability he’ll face letting you see those emotions. If you don’t already, start treating your husband as an emotional creature. You may be surprised as to what he’ll start feeling safe revealing to you.
Read chapter 22 of The Power of a Praying Wife and consider the following discussion questions. They are also posted on the forum at Hallee’s Daily Brew here, but the comments are open on this post if you prefer to discuss it here.
1. Do you find that your husband feels comfortable or safe letting you see his real emotions?
2. Proverbs 22:24-25 says, “Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go, lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul.” What happens when you are frequently around someone with a negative emotion? What can you do about it?
3. I have a personal tendency to be very reactive. I’ll almost match the mood or emotions of people around me – especially my husband. Do you think your emotions affect your husband, or vice-versa?
4. Psalm 34:1-4 says, “I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make its boast in the LORD; the humble shall hear of it and be glad. Oh, magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt His name together. I sought the LORD, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” From this scripture, what should we be doing to combat anger, depression, and fear? How often are we to praise God?
5. Read the prayer out loud on page 161 of The Power of a Praying Wife. Include specifics about your husband’s emotions (and yours, too).
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