Loving a Life of Biblical Womanhood
I’m not a handy woman. I can work things that don’t require a lot of mechanical know-how. For instance, I can use a level and a measuring tape to map out a series of wall hangings that will be evenly spaced and properly hanged; however, that’s just math. I’m good with math. What I can’t do is use a drill, a chain saw, or any of the other multiple power tools and mechanical items in my husband’s workshop.
Last year, Gregg had a mother’s ring made for me. It has the birthstones of our three children, his birthstone, and mine. I love this ring. I wear it on my right middle finger.
I was talking to a retired homicide detective last week. He said that every dead child, every drug induced murder, every senseless death born of greed and anger and malice destroyed him inside. But, as a homicide detective, he couldn’t let those emotions out. Instead of going into some dead child’s bedroom and crying in a corner, he had to buck up and do his job. To compensate, he would go home and drink. His wife didn’t understand what he was struggling with, because he couldn’t open up the floodgate of emotions that would come as a result of acknowledging them, and in the end it nearly destroyed their marriage.
Pin ItMy dad said that in his career he saw a pattern. The spouse leaves, and the spouse left behind creates a whole new life. Part of it is a defense against loneliness. Part of it is a way to make time go by faster. But, new jobs, new hobbies, new schedules open the door to new friends, new intimate circles, and more often than people will admit, new lovers or friends of the opposite sex. This creates a whole new life of which the absent spouse is not a part, and when he or she returns, isn’t necessarily welcome.
I was at my parents’ house this weekend, along with my youngest brother and his family and my sister and her family. After church on Sunday, there was a rush to the kitchen to get children fed – all seven of my parents’ grandchildren, four of whom are under the age of four. PB&J’s, hot dogs, tortillas and melted cheese — we quickly had seven hungry children sitting at the table to eat. Then it was the adults’ turn. I dug around my mother’s fridge and came up with a container of pimento cheese.
Two months into my first marriage, my husband quit his job. I had to withdraw plans to start school three weeks later, and we had to pack up and move back to his hometown. That decision he made started a cycle of unemployment/employment that made our marriage very stressful and very hard. Between the financial problems we faced and the addiction problems he faced during our over nine years of marriage, his adulterous affair and our divorce was a relief for me. I was very much over marriage, had no desire to even date, and never intended to be in a relationship with a man again. Six weeks later, I met Gregg.
Pin ItEvery year on my birthday my husband sends my mother Godiva chocolate.
While all this was going on, a woman got out of the passenger’s seat of the car, opened the trunk, removed a walker, and started slowly hobbling her way into the restaurant. The doctor ordered and the waitress came and went while this woman inch by inch made it to the table.
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My husband Gregg is an incredibly upbeat man. He’ll say he’s very moody; however, that moodiness he feels typically doesn’t manifest until it comes out in his writing and his poetry. His outward attitude is one of confidence and joy. He sings while he works and does chores around the house, he teases and jokes, he laughs, he has fun. He is encouraging and exciting, ready to go on an adventure in a spontaneous moment. Even when I feel myself reacting negatively to something, he’ll crack a joke about it or lighten the mood enough that I’m able to work through the negativity.
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These treats were made for Kaylee’s 4th grade teachers and school administrators — so, 3 years ago. They weren’t designed to offer any kind of tutorial in how to do them, so I apologize for that, but they give you an idea of how easy it is to put together something personal, something special for those people in your life whom you want to gift with Valentines.
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