Loving a Life of Biblical Womanhood
I used to think the term “repentance” was the entire package of what a Christian was to do. Likely because of pop culture political cartoons or caricatures with some sign or caption in them about “repent and be saved!” So, in my mind, repentance meant confession of sins and turning away from sins while accepting Jesus Christ into your life and heart all at the same time.
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I’m not a handy woman. I can work things that don’t require a lot of mechanical know-how. For instance, I can use a level and a measuring tape to map out a series of wall hangings that will be evenly spaced and properly hanged; however, that’s just math. I’m good with math. What I can’t do is use a drill, a chain saw, or any of the other multiple power tools and mechanical items in my husband’s workshop.
Right after my first wedding, my ex-husband and I visited his brother and one of my bridesmaids. They had recently moved to another town in Florida. They’d been living together for about eighteen months. I had weddings on my mind and asked her when they were getting married. She said, “Oh, we’re never getting married.”
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Well, actually it officially sprang Sunday, but this was the first available date for this post.
I love every season as it approaches. I enjoy snow and winter, I enjoy heat and summer, I enjoy harvesting my garden and autumn…so WHY am I so excited about spring this year?
Last year, Gregg had a mother’s ring made for me. It has the birthstones of our three children, his birthstone, and mine. I love this ring. I wear it on my right middle finger.
I was talking to a retired homicide detective last week. He said that every dead child, every drug induced murder, every senseless death born of greed and anger and malice destroyed him inside. But, as a homicide detective, he couldn’t let those emotions out. Instead of going into some dead child’s bedroom and crying in a corner, he had to buck up and do his job. To compensate, he would go home and drink. His wife didn’t understand what he was struggling with, because he couldn’t open up the floodgate of emotions that would come as a result of acknowledging them, and in the end it nearly destroyed their marriage.
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My dad said that in his career he saw a pattern. The spouse leaves, and the spouse left behind creates a whole new life. Part of it is a defense against loneliness. Part of it is a way to make time go by faster. But, new jobs, new hobbies, new schedules open the door to new friends, new intimate circles, and more often than people will admit, new lovers or friends of the opposite sex. This creates a whole new life of which the absent spouse is not a part, and when he or she returns, isn’t necessarily welcome.
I was at my parents’ house this weekend, along with my youngest brother and his family and my sister and her family. After church on Sunday, there was a rush to the kitchen to get children fed – all seven of my parents’ grandchildren, four of whom are under the age of four. PB&J’s, hot dogs, tortillas and melted cheese — we quickly had seven hungry children sitting at the table to eat. Then it was the adults’ turn. I dug around my mother’s fridge and came up with a container of pimento cheese.
Two months into my first marriage, my husband quit his job. I had to withdraw plans to start school three weeks later, and we had to pack up and move back to his hometown. That decision he made started a cycle of unemployment/employment that made our marriage very stressful and very hard. Between the financial problems we faced and the addiction problems he faced during our over nine years of marriage, his adulterous affair and our divorce was a relief for me. I was very much over marriage, had no desire to even date, and never intended to be in a relationship with a man again. Six weeks later, I met Gregg.
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Every year on my birthday my husband sends my mother Godiva chocolate.
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